Gratitude Schmatitude

People complain a lot about posting duck faces, cryptic messages, and funeral selfies on Facebook, and rightfully so, but the posts that bother me most are the overly grateful Facebook status updates people post about their significant others. And when I say “people,” I mean “women,” by far the most pervasive practitioners of this phenomenon.

Don’t get me wrong – if your man has done something actually worth noting, like surprising you with a romantic trip or spelling your name correctly in his new neck tattoo, then by all means, post away and make all your friends jealous. But the overly grateful Facebook posts for mediocre acts seem at best unnecessary, and at worst, insulting to the man being praised.

Last week, one of my girlfriends from way back posted “My hubby just brought me Diet Coke for lunch. I’m such a lucky girl!” This woman (by no means a girl anymore) has been married to the same man for 16 years and bore three of his children. She almost never posts anything about her husband on Facebook, and the one time she does, it’s about Diet Coke. I wasn’t sure what to think. Was she being sarcastic? Or was she genuinely grateful? Was this her husband’s cheap-ass way of calling her fat? Or could it be that in all 16 years of this couple’s marriage, this man never so much as offered her a refreshing beverage?

Another girlfriend a few months back posted “I’m so grateful to my husband for feeding the kids dinner while I’m sick.” Better than Diet Coke, but c’mon. Isn’t he just meeting a basic expectation? I don’t think I would consider marrying a man who wouldn’t at least feed our children on occasion, least of all while I’m sick. Women like this might as well post a photo of a toilet with its seat down with the caption “He’s always thinking of me. – Feeling Loved”

I also wonder if any of this is effective for the target audience, presumably the superhero being praised. Do men really appreciate these shout-outs? Or do they get embarrassed? I think it might be one of those gender divides.

For example, when I was single and big into online dating, I would get a decent amount of unsolicited pictures from strange men, who after a few days of non-sexual texting, felt the need to send me unsolicited pictures of their penises. Mind you, these were never impressive porn star penises, and some of them even looked quite unattractive. I always wondered, do guys do this because they think I’d genuinely like to see this? Or is he just showing me his dick like a confused monkey in some sort of desperate attempt to get any kind of attention?

Is that what the overly grateful Facebook status post is? The female version of the unsolicited cock pic?

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One thought on “Gratitude Schmatitude

  1. infinitemptiness says:

    Hey – I got here googling those mgtow weirdos and have read several of your posts. You’re hilarious, wise and an excellent writer and wordist. I don’t know if wordist is a word but you’re excellent with words! Love your stuff 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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